It's been a couple of hard days!

Yesterday and today were difficult days. The impending amount of things that needs to be accomplished this week put a fear of doom in me. I felt paralyzed, even though I did accomplish quite a bit today.  Today I had one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had. Don't worry, I'm doing well now.

Last night I wrote a pretty pitiful email to one of the teachers at co-op (She is both the History and Music teacher):

Dear "teacher",

I’m terribly overwhelmed this week. I feel as though I need to beg for an extension on something.

The book report is due Friday- We still have 2 chapters to read.

A History test on Friday

And Aussie said if they got 85 or lower on the last test they have to retake it. I haven’t seen my kids tests yet, but I’m assuming that this applies to all of them since I didn't help them study for the last test.

And any regular homework that needs to be done.

The play is on Friday- Almost have all costumes together/made. Clothes washer is broken- I have to stand and hold the knob the entire cycle for it to work, but feel I need to wash the Goodwill clothes before they wear them. New washer hopefully will be here Thursday.

Need to work with Aussie on his song for play.

Science project due Friday- I have 3 box tops of mud sitting on my front porch, and it is not turning out like it is supposed to.

We have at least one activity every single day this week (birthday party, Christmas party, orthodontist, Lego league practices- competition on Saturday, play practice etc.)

And that is just the kids’ stuff.  Then I have to write my next 8 week syllabus, get end of year projects made for my students and prepare for class on Friday.

So…I’m not sure what to ask for.  I guess the obvious would be to ask if we could have an extension on the book report.  But anything would be helpful.

Thank you and sorry for whining!

It was hard for me to relax last night. And I about bit my boys heads off yelling at them to just go to bed!  I was tired, but wasn't able to sleep because of all my anxieties.  So I knitted the most adorable hat for my next door neighbor's baby.

I didn't intend to stay up until 4AM, but it is what I needed to relax.

This morning was spent cleaning.  We had guests coming over today.  And even though it didn't look like I had much to do, it turned out to be quite a bit of work.  The floors were still wet as they were walking in the house and I forgot to make lunch so a pan of popcorn chicken was coming out of the oven as they were walking in.  We did manage to get in school but not as much as I had hoped.

My intentions were to take pictures of the kids playing, but that didn't happen. I didn't even think about it while they were here.  These are friends we just met around Halloween.  They live up the street.  They have 6 kids and one on the way.  The kids are very well behaved.  You would think having that many kids in my house would drive me to drink, but you really couldn't tell there was that many kids here.  They all played well and had a great time.  And the Mom and I chatted and worked on a few crafts together as the kids played.  She is a really neat lady. And I was inspired by several things she talked about.

  I asked how in the world she could keep her house clean.  She told me about her zone cleaning and how each child had chores according to their age.  After she left guess what I created?

But after they left, reality set in once again at everything that needed to be done.  I had not heard back from the teacher.  I was telling Aussie that I had emailed the teacher and asked for an extension.  His reply set me off.  He said the teacher told them under no circumstances could they turn in their projects late and that they HAD to be there next Friday and that it was MOST of their grade. I just knew at that point in my heart she would not give an extension on that.  Then a friend emailed me about a potential car pool in January. Silly little thing, but it was just ONE MORE thing to think about and I broke down and cried and hyper ventilated. The boys were scared and asked if they should call Dad. I just knew Greg would be mad if they called and told him.  He gets mad when he's scared or so it seems.  Thankfully, I have Xanax for times like these.  I don't have panic attacks often, so I was glad I knew where the medicine was. It started to work 20-25 minutes after taking it, but I wasn't 100% better until everyone was in bed and I was able to have this quiet time.

After napping on the couch for an hour or so, while Greg thankfully read the last chapters of the book to the kids, I read my emails. I had 3 very good emails, one being that she is granting my kids an extension on the book report. AND I felt slightly validated when Greg said he didn't like the book either; and that was only after reading a chapter.

Greg did the dishes- Life is back to being good!

I have lots of pictures I took on Sunday at the church Christmas party, but those will need to wait for another day because I am going to bed.  Goodnight.